God. I'm so dumb.
It was checking for collision with anything. If there was no collision with THIS ONE object, then it was moving the character down!
Actually, you can collide with 1 object for now, so:
-Checking for collision with sprite 1... No collision, move me down by 0.02.
-Checking for collision with sprite 2... No collision, move me down by 0.02.
-Checking for collision with sprite 3... COLLISION!, don't move me.
-Checking for collision with sprite 4... No collision, move me down by 0.02.
-Checking for collision with sprite 5... No collision, move me down by 0.02.
That's how it was.